Something about the new year brings with it a fresh start. Like, it doesn’t matter how bad the year before was or how the year ended but come Jan 1 everything resets and we all get another chance to try again or for some of us finally trying something different or new for the first time - a new year resolution. Now, whether we follow thru to the end of the year or not that’s another story.
I guess the same can be said about me. It’s a new year, new start - a chance to push the boundaries and really put myself out there...well, more like ourselves, me and and the hubby, Shaw. I contemplated writing this blog series as it’s not just centered around me but it’s also about Shaw, who’s a more private person. He knows I’m an open book and has accepted it, although sometimes cringes at some of my brutal honesty but admits that’s one of the things he loves about me. But I digress. This is not about me; it’s about him. Back to my contemplation about this blog series - it will highlight more about him than he’d care to share. But, as much as I respect his privacy I’d like to start this new decade documenting our journey towards a more meaningful life - the life we choose and not the one we had to choose, if that make sense. It’s like the American Dream 2.0 version.
2019 was such a great year for me and arguably the best year, by far. And, although my Mommy & Me clothing line came to an end, I found freedom in my personal life and in my work as an interior designer/home renovator, which was mainly through the support of Shaw. He encouraged me to spend more time with our girls and to hone in on my craft. While I felt great about my freedom, I was beginning to feel a sense of guilt as I saw Shaw’s lack of. After all, we’re partners. They say happy wife = happy life but i think it goes both ways and I can’t be happy knowing he’s not.
Lolo had a 2 weeks holiday break from school so I booked us a last min ute getaway to Santa Fe, hoping it will take Shaw’s mind off of his work and the girls will finally get to play in the snow. Poor guy ended up taking care of us sick gals the entire trip but, needless to say, it did take his mind off of work! Matter of fact, he enjoyed it. And, we spent the remainder of our break working on some home improvement projects, together. It felt like the old days when we were financially struggling and had to build everything on our own - not that that was amazing time or anything but it was more the struggles bonded and strengthened us both as individuals and as a couple. I haven’t seen him more happy and fulfilled like I did this past week. So it got me thinking, what if we kept at it? I know it would add more to his plate but the meaningful enjoyment will also offset the stress of his Corporate monotony - a stress reliever!
My hope in doing this is that at some point, a direction will become clearer and decisions will be easier to make. If nothing more comes out of this, selfishly, I got to spend extreme quality time with my biggest crush. Truth be told, I’d give up my freedom in a heartbeat to give Shaw a chance at “living life”. I’d to go back to (work) Corporate America, sell our house, rent a tiny rundown apartment in the area (for Lolo’s school) and use the capital to continue funding the renovation projects we love and enjoy doing. Shaw is the hardest (and smartest) working person I know so it’s a no brainer and small sacrifice to make for a great investment in his potential to pursue anything he sets his mind to. But he wouldn’t have it. He says we’ve come to far to get me out and we’ll have to work even harder to get him tailing behind.
So, here I am making a project list for us to tackle one Friday at a time....I’ll have to come up with a catchy name or hashtag for our routine. Maybe you can help me with it?! Until then, I’ll meet you back here every Sunday to catch up on our progress over the weekend! With that I leave you with a final thought: Have you ever risk it all for something or someone you love?